Tonight I watched a computer generated video of how a baby is born with my two oldest kids! I can't believe that they are old enough to know all of this now or that I am old enough to have kids old enough for this! They were curious and when they ask specific questions we feel they are ready for answers and we tell them that this is something special for parents to tell their children and they don't need to go around talking about it with anyone, but they can always talk to their family!
Both kids were quiet after watching...I was quiet! The memories of the pain came flooding back in from the dark recesses of my mind and made me NERVOUS! It's amazing how after each kid you may remember, but it doesn't fully hit you until you either are there or close enough to think about it! Of course I remembered with Alyssa as soon as I walked into the hospital to be induced and was so nervous that when the lady at the desk asked for my SSN I went COMPLETELY blank! Good thing my husband was there and makes great effort to memorize all of our SSN! We all at least go a good laugh out of it! :)
After the video Alyssa said "It does look painful." I asked, "Does it scare you?" and she said "Well it's what you go through to have babies and I want babies." Such a brave kid.
Bria on the other hand has a few more years until we expose her to any of this knowledge. The only thing she does know is that it is painful, but worth it. Of course pain does not equal worth in her mind so she has decided to never get married cause she doesn't want babies. So, I figured I would give her some time to let her mind change and there has been some softening cause she is now talking about who she will marry one day! B from church!
Chad looked concerned and said "That must be painful!" Then he told me he loved me and didn't like the idea of me having to be in pain, but knew it was something you just have to do. We talked about the beautiful gift a baby is and that we are stronger than we think a lot of times, so I think that helped too. Over all I would say that this was a great learning and relationship building talk with Chad and Alyssa.
As for me I have 3 weeks left and am starting to get miserable, toss and turn while watching the hours on the clock go by and don't think my belly could POSSIBLY get any bigger cause it hurts kind of miserable! Enough to be ok with the pain, but I am NOT looking forward to it. I just have to keep my eye on the ball. I will be getting a beautiful baby out of all this work and my kids are all excited about this new little one too. Then I will actually be able to bend over! I will also lose about 10 preferrably 15 pounds and be happy until reality sets in and I have to go buy clothes and realize I am still several sizes bigger than I would like to be! After having Chad, while still in the hospital, I remember looking in the mirror and thinking "I am SO skinny!" Then I went home a few days later with my cocky self and tried to fit back into my High School jeans that couldn't EVEN get over my thighs! It was a traumatic tear jerker kind of experience! I never could fit back into those jeans again (my body shape was different) even after losing all my weight! :( Needless to say I have never tried to fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans again right after my babies!
6 comments:
Sounds like a very interesting discussion. (I'd love to know what you guys watched).
(We watched a computer generated program once called A.D.A.M. (and E.V.E.)with one of our kids many years ago... after watching it, her main question was, "Couldn't that hurt?" I didn't know what to say!!!!! In retrospect... I should have said, 'YES, until or unless you are married!' That would have been a great answer, right??? Isn't it interesting what kids will focus on?)
Anyway, I think that it sounds like you guys had a great conversation... but it makes me a little sad also to know that so many people's perspective, fron early on, as young children is that birth is horribly painful.
What I try to do is to help people change their perspectice a bit. Yes, it is hard work, very hard work, the hardest work you'll ever truly do! and yes it is painful, (for most people babies don't just FALL out without the mom KNOWING she is in labor...), but that it is a good pain, a productive pain. We generally associate pain with something bad and something going wrong... but this is work and it is doing a job. And in the end... you have a wonderful prize! I like how you said it, a baby is a wonderful GIFT from God!!!
I think that Chad's perpective was kind of sweet as he loved(s) you... I worked with a mom once who had her older child (a boy abt. 5 yrs old...) attend the birth. Mostly he was out in another room, and he'd come in periodically to 'visit' with his mom inbetween contractions. At one point he knew mom was working very hard to get their baby here... he sent his special blankie and stuffed animal in to the room mom was laboring in... He said, "I want mom to have these. They help me feel better when I don't feel so good, and I think mommy needs them more than me right now." I about cried! It was the sweetest thing I have ever witnessed! Kids are really amazing!
You can do it Sharon!!! You have done it before, (under less desireable circumstances...) don't 'worry' about the work/pain of labor.
I know you are so uncomfortable, and hurting, and you have had such a hard time this pregnancy, with all the sickness, and doing a lot on your own, while your hubby is doing school work. That all has to add up as well.
Soon you will have your sweet baby in your arms! (and honestly... if you were looking forward to the pain, I'd be worried about you!!!)
P.S. I always bought myself a new after baby outfit. To wear home from the hosp, etc. I encourage some sort of stretchy pants... It makes you feel a whole lot better than leaving the hosp in your preg. clothes you went to the hosp in... and yet you won't get depressed (and cry) over not fitting in your pre-preg. clothes. No-one ever really fits in the first pre-preg even high school clothes again! You now have HIPS!!! ;-)
(((((HUGS)))))
Sorry my comment is so long...
I'm glad you didn't sugar coat things for them. It's such a real experience that doesn't need sugar coating bc God created such an amazing female body that can do this and is made to do this. It's natural and amazing. I gave birth naturally with both of mine but I remember once labor started with my last all I could think of was the "ring of fire". I only pushed for 5 minutes with him though so I was ready and done before I knew it. It's hard not to be nervous when you really think about it who wants pain but it IS worth it!
I don't guess you'd want to know that when my first was born [almost 36 years ago] I was given something called "twilight sleep." The entire birth process was dreamlike and pain free. I remember them saying "PUSH" and I remember thinking "How can I push when I can't feel anything?!" My how things have changed! I'll be waiting for the newsflash about Laney's arrival.
Your post made me smile. All moms suffer from labor-pain amnesia. If we didn't no one would have more than one kid! Unfortunately, by the time you remember that giving birth hurts, it's too late to change your mind.
You'll do great! And however painful it is, it can't be worse than being 40 weeks (or 41) and miserable!
Post a Comment