Sharon Died Today

Sharon Horrocks, mother of five, resident of Madison, Alabama, passed away this morning at 8-something at the age of 31 due to gerascophobia (fear of aging).  She is survived by her husband of 12 years, five children, 1 dog, 2 cats and countless loving family members.


Sharon was born in Suffolk, Virginia in 1978, during the long gone 20th century, grew up normal - well, mostly normal - to reach adulthood.  In her later years, as shown in the photograph below taken near the end of her life, she succumbed to mental disease and psychosis.  Experts believe this may be due almost entirely to taking on too many additional projects while suffering through her husband's EMBA program.


As Sharon's influence, whether for good or ill, has touched so many of us on such a personal level, the editor has chosen to insert here the transcript of an interview conducted with the late Sharon Horrocks by the Tysonian Times.

Times: You have 5 kids and a happy family life.  Is that the way you pictured things from the beginning?
Sharon: Not at all.  When I graduated from high school, I told myself I would not get married until 28, never have kids and never marry in the temple.  My future husband proved me wrong.

Times: One can imagine that being a mother of 5 can be challenging at times.
Sharon: Yes. ... Yeah.  Of course, I've picked up a few skills along the way that have helped me out.  When I first got married, there were all kinds of things that I refused to do because I didn't want to become "too domesticated."  But now I do them all the time - yes, including sewing and cooking.  I actually like sewing now.

Times: So what would you say is your passion in life (aside from church and family)?
Sharon: It would have to be creating meaningful and deep friendships.  The one thing I value most in life is friendship that goes beyond acquaintance and extends deep into each side's life.  That kind of friendship is not easy to build, but definitely worth it.

Times: We understand that you have a fettish for mayonnaise.  Would you like to tell us about your favorite foods?
Sharon: I have a favorite food to avoid - coconut.  Don't come within 10 feet of me with coconut, especially if it's coconut on your breath.  Gross!  But I do love mayonnaise!  The thicker, the yummier.  Actually, I only put mayonnaise on that thick because I know it grosses my husband out.

Times: We understand you have some personal views on taking medicine.
Sharon: Uck! You kidding?! I hate taking medicine!  Even when I have had a headache for two days, I hate to take Tylenol.  I feel like it's cheating or something.

Times: And now, we'd like to ask you a few questions from our readers.  First, what do you feel is your life's greatest accomplishment?
Sharon: Definitely raising 5 kids.  It's a work in progress - not quite done yet, but I believe we're on the right track.  And more than half of them look like me rather than my husband, so I think I can definitely say I accomplished something there.  Other than that and coming back to the gospel, finishing my Interior Design Certificate is probably the toughest thing I ever did that was worth doing.

Times: What is your most influential memory?
Sharon: I'll never forget the day I found out my mother had passed away.  My senses were open to everything.  I remember the feelings I had, the smell of the air, my surroundings, everything.  I won't ever forget it.

Times: Do you have a most embarrasing moment you would like to share with our readers?
Sharon: (chuckle) It would have to be when I was pregnant with Alyssa and wet my pants when undertaking a particularly vicious sneeze.  Needless to say, that's one shopping trip that I didn't stick around to finish.

Times: Do you have a scariest moment in life you'd like to share?
Sharon: Probably when I went upstairs and found something wrapped around Heath's neck.  Yeah, that was definitely scary.

Times: Many of our readers would like to read what you read, watch what you watch.  Have any favorite movies?
Sharon: It's a toss-up between Ever After and the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  During the Christmas season, they're followed closely by runner-up A Christmas Story.

Sharon, we all love you.  Happy birthday!


Sharon said...

That title is definitely an attention grabber! I AM "ME" and panicked when reading it! ha ha!

Yes I am not happy about getting older and laughed HYSTERICALLY at your lovingly embellished answers, but you know me so well! LOVE you and Thanks for the tribute to me! :)

Anonymous said...

Awesome...very clever!

karen said...

Happy Birthday. And since I called around 8 something I know you are alive and well. Enjoy your day! Hugs.

kg said...

Happy, Happy Birthday!!! What a clever post :) Love those pics too!

Dawn, said...

The title made my heart leap... I guess I can be a tad dramatic but I was so relieved to read on.... Happy Birthday!!!

kellibattraw said...

Too cute, but it was a particularly cruel post title!

Cindy said...

Very cute. Happy birthday, old lady.

Sara said...

I didn't realize you didn't like taking medicine. And to that I say, you're crazy!

But a great post. Raising 5 kids is definitely an accomplishment. Glad we got to hang out Monday night!

Organized Nutrition said...

LOVE the post...I may have to copy the idea someday!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY... 32 isn't all bad!! I PROMISE!

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